Meeting and Greeting from the FBI

There are sections of bookstores devoted to meeting people and befriending them. These thoughts are offered by social advisors, business advisors, political advisors and dating sites. Everyone has an opinion on putting people at ease.

Robin Dreeke was head of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Program and has studied interpersonal relations for over 27 years. He is an expert on how to make people like you. These tips are from his book:

1. The single most important thing is non-judgmental validation. Seek someone else’s thoughts and opinions without judging them.
2. Suspend your ego. Focus on them.
3. Really listen, don’t just wait to talk. Ask them questions; don’t try to come up with stories to impress.
4. Ask people about what’s been challenging them.
5. Establishing a time constraint early in the conversation can put strangers at ease.
6. Smile, chin down, blade your body, palms up, open and upward non-verbals.
7. If you think someone is trying to manipulate you, clarify goals. Don’t be hostile or aggressive, but ask them to be straight about what they want.