Yes and No

But Baby It's Cold Outside

"Sometimes 'yes' means 'no,' simply because it is easier to go through with it than explain our way out of the situation. Sometimes 'no' means 'yes,' because you actually do want to do it, but you know you're not supposed to lest you be labeled a slut. And if you're a man, that 'no' often means 'just try harder' — because, you know, persuasion is part of the game." This was written by Jessica Bennett, gender editor(!) of the New York Times.
Bennett continues by arguing that consent is actually societally defined, that "our idea of what we want — of our own desire — is linked to what we think we're supposed to want." That is to say we filter our desires through a template created by our interpretation of the culture's desires. So our decisions are not our decision per se but rather decisions result from our assessment of an unspoken societal attitude.

Hers is a very subjective and complex world.

Feminist lifestyle writer Rebecca Reid recently wrote in Metro UK that she once participated in a threesome because she "didn't want to be rude." And Reid says that such experiences aren't uncommon: "There are hundreds of reasons why, but they all boil down to the same thing. We're nice girls. We've been raised to be nice." She adds: "sometimes being careful means having sex that you don't want, that leaves you feeling dirty and sad and a bit icky. It's not rape. It's not abuse. But it's not nice, either."

In  the New Yorker, a similarly strange story went viral. Titled "Cat Person," it describes a woman named Margot who seduces a man and sends him all the signals that she wants to have sex with him but is internally divided over whether to go through with it: "she knew that her last chance of enjoying this encounter had disappeared, but that she would carry through with it until it was over."

A very wise woman once told me that a study once showed that a woman would get on to an elevator occupied only by one threatening looking man despite being terrified of him because she did not want to be judgmental or make him feel bad.

Are these feminists saying that Islam is right, that women are unable to assess themselves and the world? That women have no real concept of what they want or the personal strength to declare it if they did?

Bring back the dueña.