Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Years Resolutions

Do not phone from the bathroom.

First dates should always be coffee or lunch.

Do not read anything while eating a meal with others.

Sign all petitions and always vote "no."

Build a good wardrobe one good piece at a time.

Do not put ice in wine. If the wine is not cool enough, go to a better place.

Angry people are usually entertaining but avoid them after 6 o'clock.

Read a formal literary effort, a book or essay or play, a little bit every day.

Wake up. Early. The day will be nice and long and full of opportunities.

Go to bed at a reasonable time. Anything that happens late at night is because the perpetrators think no one is watching.

Do not name your children after large cities in Texas. Or European cheeses.

Remember, at the extremes, the crowd is always wrong.

Do not chew gum.

Learn how to use a knife and fork.

Do not use phones on elevators or at a meal.

If you are going to drink alcohol, drink only good alcohol. Never drink something because it is there.

Never drink alcohol because you "don't want to waste it."

Memorize one insightful quote or poetry line every week.

Keep up with old friends with a line or e-mail; do not allow them to slip away.

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